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Writer's Block: Tales from the Registers

Whether you call it Black Friday or Buy Nothing Day, today is going to be a long day for those who work in retail. The customer might always be right in the store, but here on LJ let's hear some stories about times when the customer was wrongedy wrong wrong.

Well, in my businesses, the customer is always right, except when they're an @$$hole.

I sell a nutritional product over the net which I import from Canada. Darn good product, too, I put my name and my reputation behind it. We offer a 100% satisfaction guarantee on the product, if the customer isn't happy they get a full refund, no questions asked. In the last 3 years I think I've had 4 returns, one because a lady got pregnant and was advised not to take any supplements, the other 3 because it was not what they wanted, or some such.

Last year I had one lady call me up and say that the product wasn't doing the job, and wanted a refund. This was after 5 months of using the product, and using 5 bottles of it. I told her that would be like going back to Albertson's after a year of shopping and demanding a refund on your year's worth of groceries because you weren't healthier. I sent her back half her purchase price, which in my estimation was more than generous, and for my trouble I received an abusive letter calling me a thief and a criminal, and wondering how I slept at night.

Well, one @$$hole out of thousands of satisfied customers isn't bad in a retail business, so I've got no reason to complain, but this dip$h17 really stood out in my mind. What a weed...

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Nov. 29th, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)
I think I can top that one. I had a customer who wanted to get some cheap solar garden lights that we had on special. She put up a huge stink when the price was wrong, because of the 'principle' of it.

You know how much she saved on each of the four lights she bought? A penny. That's right, a penny. You can imagine how happy I was.
Nov. 29th, 2008 04:36 am (UTC)
Funny! Hope she invested her savings wisely...
Nov. 29th, 2008 03:54 pm (UTC)
To buy solar lights is to imply lack of illumination....
I have some, got them ages back at a caravan fair, and do they work? Nope. I never knew a NiCd could be so utterly burgered so as NEVER to work. Taking them to bits shows the sheer artistry (not) that went into them. You'll believe that wire can rust?
However remember the wise words uttered by Pte Fraser of Dads Army when told that the coin lost in the vending machine was "only a penny"....
"Aye. But it wisna yoooooor penny"
Nov. 30th, 2008 02:52 am (UTC)
For luck...
An Aberdonian told a friend of his intention to pay a visit to London. His friend told him that it was very lucky to throw a halfpenny out of the carriage as he crossed the bridges on the way south. On his return home he was asked how he got on. "Weel enough," was his reply, "I got on fine crossin' the Dee and managed a' richt at the Tay Bridge, but when I came to the Forth Bridge the string got mixed up with the girders and I lost my ha'penny."
Nov. 30th, 2008 09:53 pm (UTC)
Re: For luck...
London! Mon, it's a ruuuuuuinous place.
I hadnae been there but a few minutes when BANG went SAXPENCE!
Dec. 1st, 2008 12:37 am (UTC)
Re: For luck...
At least ye dinna hae t' pey mair than once...

Sandy strolled into one of London's leading restaurants and sitting down at a table called for a glass of whisky which he drank off and then asked the price. "Two and sixpence, please,'" replied the waiter. "What!" said Sandy, "Hauf a croon!" "Ah!" said the waiter, "but you have to pay well for this establishment - the fine pictures, the costly carpets,
the magnificent furniture and fittings." "Oh, I see!" replied Sandy, "That's a' richt!" Next day he appeared again and was served by the same waiter. This time, however, he tabled 1/4. The waiter was about to explain, but Sandy with a sweep of his hand broke in: "I pey'd for a' thae things yesterday."

Edited at 2008-12-01 12:38 am (UTC)


The Old Wolf

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