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Massive Thermonuclear Comcast Fail


Several weeks ago, we decided to turn off our Cable service with Comcast, because we largely got it for my mother, who was so badly off that she couldn't watch it anyway. So I called up and asked them to DC our cable, and would they please send me a box to return the equipment. They wanted to charge me $15.00 for the privilege, and I told them to screw whole bunches of that, I'd sooner disconnect my internet and go somewhere else. So yeah, after going the rounds for about 10 minutes, the rep said they'd send me a box and label to return my remote and cable device, and waive the fee.

No box.

No box.

No box.

Couple weeks later, I call up and say, "No box. Can I get one sent out?" Sure, says the friendly rep, after I had explained the entire situation over again... for the Nth time.

Today comes a knock on the door and there's this huge box on my porch... containing a brand-new cable box and remote.

Call Comcast. "We are currently experiencing hold times of over an hour. Would you like to get a callback when it's your turn? You will not lose your place in line." Sure, that's great. Of course, you could hire a few more people, but sure. "Please record your full name at the beep." My name is Wolfington X. Analemma...

45 minutes later: Ring.

"This is Comcast, with your requested callback. Please press "1" when "(silence)" is on the line. Nice, you recorded my name well, didn't you? Press "1".

Comcast: *click*

Sweet. Great system. Call Comcast back. After waiting about 10 minutes on hold (no way am I going to fall for that callback trick again), here comes [Thick Indian accent]: Hello, this is Comcast customer support, how may I help you?"

Me: Um, is there a chance I can talk to a person in my local area?

Comcast: "Certainly sir, let me transfer you."

Comcast: American rep comes on the line, and I explain the situation all over again. It's like the guy has a 3rd-grade education. "So, I understand you need a new cable box?" "By the dessicated skull of Mogg's grandfather! No, I now have two cable boxes, and no way to return either one of them. "Let me place you on hold for a minute while I research this situation." *click*

Argh! Try calling again. Get Indian rep. Ask for local rep. Get transferred. Listen to repetitive advertising spiel. *click*

Undaunted, I try again. This time I actually get an American who sounds like he actually graduated from college. He promises to send me out a label for the new box I just got, and a box for the old one that I wanted to return in the first place.

Ever listen to that old routine by Shelley Berman about the poor yutz in the hotel who keeps getting more and more soap? I'm having nightmares already that in five days or so, there will be a knock on my door... and two more cable modems will be leering up at me.

In the meantime, I'm still being charged for cable service... which they disconnected at their hub two days after my original call.

I'd much rather not hassle with switching ISP's. For the most part, they've been quite decent with my internet service, but this episode left me wondering about Comcast's hiring practices and quality control process.

Pray for me.


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Dec. 29th, 2011 10:05 am (UTC)
Can you disconnect the payments at your end?
Dec. 29th, 2011 10:09 am (UTC)
Can't I just pray for their quick death?

Any chance you could just stop paying their bill?
Dec. 31st, 2011 12:51 am (UTC)
My dad and I just switched away from Comcast. Good thing I already had a Gmail account in order to edit in Google Docs.


The Old Wolf

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