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And I'm supposed to fall for this?


HELLO,

MY NAME IS (STAFF SGT.) BELL THOMAS, I AM AN AMERICAN SOLDIER, SERVING IN THE MILITARY WITH THE ARMY'S 3RD INFANTRY DIVISION PRESENTLY ON STANDBY IN IRAQ. I HAVE A VERY DESPERATE NEED FOR ASSISTANCE AND HAVE SUMMED UP COURAGE TO CONTACT YOU WHEN I DISCOVERED MY NAME WAS NOT INCLUDED ON THE LIST OF SOLDIERS THAT WERE DEPLOYED HOME IN AUGUST.

I FOUND YOUR CONTACT PARTICULARS IN AN ONLINE ADDRESS JOURNAL AND I AM SEEKING YOUR KIND ASSISTANCE TO MOVE THE SUM OF EIGHT MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS (US$8,000,000) TO YOU FOR FURTHER INVESTMENT INTO ANY VIABLE BUSINESS, AS FAR AS I CAN BE ASSURED THAT MY SHARE WILL BE SAFE IN YOUR CARE UNTIL I COMPLETE MY SERVICE HERE.YOU SHALL ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY AS CHAIRMAN OF THE INVESTMENT.

SOURCE OF MONEY:
SOME MONEY IN VARIOUS CURRENCIES WERE DISCOVERED IN BARRELS AT A FARMHOUSE NEAR ONE OF SADDAM'S OLD PALACES IN TIKRIT-IRAQ DURING A RESCUE OPERATION SOMETIME AGO DURING THE US COMBATANT OPERATIONS HERE,AND IT WAS AGREED BY STAFF SGT KENNETH BUFF AND I THAT SOME PART OF THIS MONEY BE SHARED BETWEEN BOTH OF US BEFORE INFORMING ANYBODY ABOUT IT SINCE BOTH OF US SAW THE MONEY FIRST. THIS WAS QUITE AN ILLEGAL THING TO DO, BUT I TELL YOU WHAT! NO COMPENSATION CAN MAKE UP FOR THE RISK WE HAVE TAKEN WITH OUR LIVES IN THIS HELL HOLE, OF WHICH MY BROTHER IN-LAW WAS KILLED BY A ROAD SIDE BOMB LAST TIME.

THE ABOVE FIGURE WAS GIVEN TO ME AS MY SHARE, AND TO CONCEAL THIS KIND OF MONEY BECAME A PROBLEM FOR ME BUT WITH THE HELP OF A BRITISH CONTACT WORKING HERE AND WITH HIS OFFICE ENJOYING SOME IMMUNITY, I WAS ABLE TO GET THE PACKAGE OUT TO A SAFE LOCATION ENTIRELY OUT OF TROUBLE SPOT. HE DOES NOT KNOW THE REAL CONTENTS OF THE PACKAGE, AND BELIEVES THAT IT BELONGS TO A BRITISH/AMERICAN MEDICAL DOCTOR WHO DIED IN A RAID HERE IN IRAQ, AND BEFORE GIVING UP, TRUSTED ME TO HAND OVER THE PACKAGE TO HIS FAMILY . I HAVE NOW FOUND A VERY SECURED WAY OF GETTING THE PACKAGE OUT OF IRAQ TO YOU FOR PICK UP AND INVEST IT INTO ANY VIABLE BUSINESS IN YOUR COUNTRY UNTIL I AM RELIEF OF MY DUTY WHICH I SHALL THEN TAKE A LEAVE TO MEET WITH YOU FOR MY OWN SHARE, AND I WILL DISCUSS THIS WITH YOU WHEN I AM SURE THAT YOU ARE WILLING TO ASSIST ME AND THAT MY MONEY WILL BE WELL SECURED IN YOUR HAND.

I WANT YOU TO TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU WILL TAKE FROM THIS MONEY FOR THE ASSISTANCE YOU WILL GIVE TO ME. ONE PASSIONATE APPEAL I WILL MAKE TO YOU IS NOT TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER WITH ANYBODY, SHOULD YOU HAVE REASONS TO REJECT THIS OFFER, PLEASE AND PLEASE DESTROY THIS MESSAGE AS ANY LEAKAGE OF THIS INFORMATION WILL BE TOO BAD FOR THE U.S. SOLDIER'S HERE IN IRAQ. ACCORDING TO PRESIDENT OBAMA, WE THE REMAINING TROOPS ON STANDBY WILL BE DEPLOYED HOME BEFORE THE END OF NEXT YEAR, I HAVE BEEN SHOT, WOUNDED AND SURVIVED TWO SUICIDE BOMB ATTACKS BY THE SPECIAL GRACE OF GOD. THIS AND OTHER REASONS I WILL MENTION LATER HAS PROMPTED ME TO REACH OUT FOR HELP. PLEASE CONTACT ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH MY PRIVATE E-MAIL ADDRESS WHICH IS MY ONLY WAY OF COMMUNICATION (E-MAIL: sgtbellthomas@gawab.com)

MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
SSGT. BELL THOMAS


Sheesh...



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Comments

torakiyoshi
Nov. 26th, 2010 05:29 pm (UTC)
If you can find out who it is, go after him. Impersonating a US officer is a federal offense.
ccdesan
Nov. 26th, 2010 06:42 pm (UTC)
Finding out who this onioburu (dung-handler) is would be next to impossible. Probably some fleabitten scumbag operating out of an excrement-filled internet café in Lagos, or some such. The universe will pay. What I wish is that he could be identified, and left in a room with four or five special-ops guys for about an hour. Problem solved.
deckardcanine
Nov. 26th, 2010 08:50 pm (UTC)
I liked Three Kings, but...
sleepyjohn00
Nov. 27th, 2010 04:46 am (UTC)
You know, the fact that this pestiferous scrote is saying that American soldiers were stealing money is enough cause to make me wish the fleas of ten thousand diseased camels would infest his armpits, even without the scam.
lebounce.blogspot.com
Nov. 28th, 2010 12:24 am (UTC)
The Nigerian Scheme in a new guise- a down-right insulting one at that!

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