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Global Terror Threat Levels

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588 when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards" They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be right, mate". Three more escalation levels remain: "Crikey!", "I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend" and "The barbie is canceled". So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

(There were a bunch of others, but they were mean-spirited rather than funny, so I clipped'em.)


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Comments

fearciuil
Jan. 19th, 2010 11:57 pm (UTC)
*giggle* *giggle* *snerk*
(Deleted comment)
ccdesan
Jan. 21st, 2010 09:45 am (UTC)
Anything I post in my journal that you can see is fair game. I rarely post "eyes only" entries.
bayliss
Jan. 20th, 2010 02:21 am (UTC)
the one about the Scots is rather accurate. :-)

*smiles*
secoh
Jan. 20th, 2010 03:28 am (UTC)
So's the one about the Australians lol
thefoxaroo
Jan. 21st, 2010 01:49 am (UTC)
Indeed. That's a pretty darn comprehensive summary of our Defcon ratings. :)
mermaidstitcher
Jan. 20th, 2010 04:43 pm (UTC)
what about us Americans..
Oh Shi...
Damm
oh no oh hel.. no
Put a boot up their as..
sound about right. where do you find these?
(Anonymous)
Jan. 21st, 2010 09:41 am (UTC)
I have a cluster of friends/family that are inveterate email forwarders. Most of the stuff they send along is hqiz, but it's a lot like diamond mining. You have to move a lot of mud to find one gem, but when you do, it's worth it.
ccdesan
Jan. 21st, 2010 09:46 am (UTC)
Oops, forgot to log in for that one. 0

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ccdesan
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