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Timeo vicinos et dona ferentes!

Last night my neighbor, a delightful lady who is here in Salt Lake serving a mission, came knocking on my door wondering if I had any chocolate. She had had a rough day, and needed comfort food... she knows I'm a wicked sinner and came next door for a fix, and a listening ear.

Well, I was out of unhealthy stuff, so I dragged her down to Smith's marketplace and we each got a small carton of ice cream: she, some Ben & Jerry's triple-caramel obscenity or other, and I, Haägen-Daßzøðþœq Chocolate-Chip Cookie Dough. We spent the next two hours chatting and getting a severe ice-cream buzz, and I sent her home comforted.

From experience, I know that such depredations don't last long. So I loaded up a pint jar full of chocolate raisins (one of her favorite things), and left them on her doorstep with the following note:



So just a few minutes ago, here's this knock on my door, and she's bringing back a tupperware full of crystallized diabetes. She had just recently been to Okinawa to visit her son and his family - he married a Japanese girl, and they are raising their kids over there - and so she wanted to share this treat with me.

100% pure cane sugar, refined to perfection. Consistency: similar to maple sugar candy. Flavor: similar to blackstrap molasses. Effect:

I can't figure out why this blessed monitor won't stop shaking, I think I need to get it serviced...


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Comments

dhlawrence
May. 2nd, 2009 05:14 am (UTC)
TOOMUCHSUGARIDONTKNOWWHATYOUMEANIHAVENTHADTOOMUCHSUGARNOTHINGSWRONGWITHMEATALLIMJUSTFINE!!!!!
ccdesan
May. 2nd, 2009 07:08 am (UTC)
Hehe, you got that right, brother!
r_caton
May. 2nd, 2009 08:00 am (UTC)
Sugar does NOTHING f'f'f'f'f'f'f'f'f'meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

No seriously, I'm sweet already.

I wants to hug the pair o' yez!
deckardcanine
May. 2nd, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)
That makes me feel better about my tentative plan to eat Berger cookies today after (but not immediately after) my chocolate Pop Tart breakfast.

I assume your creative spelling of the second ice cream brand is not the result of a symbol's platform incompatibility. It does deserve mockery.

Would you mind translating your title? Babelfish doesn't do Latin.
ccdesan
May. 2nd, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC)
Timeo danaos et dona ferentes" is a Latin phrase from Virgil's Aeneid. Literally, "I fear the Danaans (Greeks) even if they are bearing gifts," which has been popularized into "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts."

"Vicinos" is "neighbors"
deckardcanine
May. 2nd, 2009 06:35 pm (UTC)
I guessed right about "vicinos," given its Spanish cognate. And I already knew "dona."

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