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Scams: Nigeria tries to be the FBI

A recent fraud email from Benin, purporting to be from the "FBI". I've left it just as I received it.



From: Robert Mueller <atmcardmonetarydivisionunit@gmail.com>
Subject: FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON (FBI internet Fraud Watch/Alert Division).
To: undisclosed recipients: ;

FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON (FBI internet Fraud Watch/Alert Division).


JULY/23RD/2011

FBI HEADQUARTERS IN WASHINGTON, D.C.
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN.

WE HAVE A MEETING WITH INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND AND FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF REPUBLIC OF BENIN OVER YOUR LONG OVERDUE CONTRACT PAYMENT AND WE INFORMED THEM THAT YOUR FUND SHOULD NOT COST YOU ANYTHING BECAUSE IS YOUR MONEY WHICH WE FINALLY REACHED TO AN AGREEMENT YESTERDAY THAT ALL THE PAYMENT WILL BE PAID VIA ATM SMART CARD BEING THE SIMPLEST WAY TO TRANSFER HUGE AMOUNT OF MONEY TO AVOID COST OF TRANSFER AND OTHER STATUTORY DOCUMENT UNITED STATES DOCUMENT LIKE (UNITED STATES PATRIOT ACT ) WHICH WE STRETCHED TO HAVE A STRONG AGREEMENT OVER THE PAYMENT THAT WILL COST YOU ONLY $80USD ONLY FOR DELIVERY OF YOUR ATM SMART CARD VIA UPS OR FEDEX DELIVERING COMPANY.

HOWEVER, YOU HAVE ONLY TWO WORKING DAYS TO SEND THIS $80U.S. DOLLARS TO FEDEX OR UPS COURIER COMPANY FOR DELIVERING OF YOUR CARD,

IF WE DON'T HEAR FROM YOU WITH THE PAYMENT INFORMATION, THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION WILL NOT HESITATE BY GIVEN INSTRUCTION TO FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF REPUBLIC OF BENIN TO CANCEL YOUR PAYMENT THAT HAS BEEN PROGRAMMED IN ATM SMART CARD.

I WANT YOU TO READ BELOW CAREFULLY, THE NOTICE BELOW STAND AS CAUTION BEFORE IT IS LATE. FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION, YOU MUST BE CONSCIOUS OF THIS PROJECT, AS I WILL SOON CONCLUDE THIS TRANSACTION WITH YOU, LET THIS STAND AS A WARNING BEFORE YOU INCASE YOU RECEIVED ANY E-MAILS, OR CALLS REGARDLESS TO THIS MOTION FROM ANY INDIVIDUALS CLAIMED TO BE ME, OR E-MAILS, CALLS FROM ANY ORGANIZATION TO YOU, SUCH MUST BE FORWARDED TO US IMMEDIATELY , IT MIGHT COME TO YOU WITH DIFFERENT PROPOSALS WITH DIFFERENT NAMES INCLUDING MY NAME ASKING YOU TO COME AND CLAIM YOUR ESTATE OR EVEN FUNDS BELONGING TO YOU OR TO SOMEBODY YOU DO NOT KNOW, I URGE YOU TO IGNORE SUCH E-MAILS OR CALLS, WHILE YOU FORWARD IT TO US. I WANT YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING FOR ME IS YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND CO-OPERATION, AGAIN WITHOUT THIS CODE (101) DON’T GET BACK TO THIS OFFICE.

MOREOVER, FIRST BATCH OF YOUR CARD WHICH CONTAINS $3,000.000.00 MILLION U.S. DOLLARS HAS BEEN ACTIVATED AND IS THE TOTAL FUND LOADED INSIDE THE CARD.

YOUR FUND WHICH IS IN TOTAL $10,000.000.00 MILLION U.S. DOLLARS WILL COME IN BATCHES OF $3,000.000.00 MILLION U.S. DOLLARS AND THIS IS THE FIRST BATCH.

YOUR PAYMENT WOULD BE SENT TO YOU VIA UPS OR FEDEX BECAUSE WE HAVE SIGNED A CONTRACT WITH THEM WHICH SHOULD EXPIRED BY JULY 30TH.

BELOW ARE FEW LIST OF TRACKING NUMBERS AND YOU CAN TRACK EACH OF THEM FROM FEDEX WEBSITE (WWW.FEDEX.COM) TO CONFIRM PEOPLE LIKE YOU WHO HAVE RECEIVED THEIR PAYMENT SUCCESSFULLY.

RICHARD AUTRY ============== 869713119185
GARY METZGER ============== 871363130860
MARK STUBBS ==============871363116168

MOREOVER, THIS IS ANOTHER PEOPLE THAT RECEIVED THEIR PAYMENT THROUGH UPS WEBSITE (WWW.UPS.COM).

JOHNNY ALMANTE ==============1Z2X59394198080570
GARY METZGER ==============1Z2X59394195952759
GLEN PAPANIKAS ==============1Z2X59394198690947
CAROL R BUCZYNSKI ==============1Z2X59394197862530
KARIMA EMELIA TAYLOR ==============1Z2X59394198591527
LISA LAIRD ==============1Z2X59394196641913
POLLY SHAYKIN ==============1Z2X59394198817702

HOWEVER, WE HEREBY ADVISED YOU THAT BASED ON OUR RECOMMENDATION/INSTRUCTIONS, YOUR COMPLETE CONTRACT/INHERITANCE OVER-DUE FUNDS WILL BE RELEASED IMMEDIATELY UPON YOUR CONTACT TO THE NEWLY APPOINTED PAYMENT OFFICER THAT WILL HAND OVER YOUR CARD TO UPS COURIER COMPANY WITH THE PAYMENT FOR ONWARD DELIVERY OF YOUR PACKAGE.

YOU ARE THEREFORE ADVISED TO CONTACT MARTINS CLEMENT APPOINTED DIRECTOR ATM SWIFT CARD/FOREIGN OPERATION DEPT AND ASK HIM HOW CAN YOU FORWARD THE PAYMENT INFORMATION TO FEDEX OR UPS COURIER COMPANY.

CONTACT PERSON: MARINS CLEMENT

PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS: marinsclement@gmail.com

PRIVATE DIRECT TELL +22998661711

YOU ARE ADVISED TO CONTACT HIM IMMEDIATELY SO AS TO ENABLE HIM FACILITATE THE SPEEDY PROCESSING AND RELEASE OF THE DELIVERY OF YOUR ATM SMART CARDS. AND ALSO NOTE THAT IT IS ONLY $80USD THAT IS KEEPING YOUR ATM SMART CARDS OVER THERE BENIN REPUBLIC.

ALSO NOTE THAT YOU ARE ADVISED TO FURNISH THE WORLD BANK AUDITORS WITH YOUR CORRECT AND VALID DETAILS TO ENABLE HIM EXPEDITE SPEEDY ACTION ON THE PROCESSING OF YOUR PAYMENT.

WE EXPECT YOUR SWIFT RESPONSE TO THIS EMAIL TO ENABLE US MONITOR THIS PAYMENT DELIVERY EFFECTIVELY THEREBY MAKING CONTACT WITH THE INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND AS DIRECTED TO AVOID FURTHER DELAY.

YOU'RE ALSO EXPECTED TO FOLLOW HIS ADVICE AND DIRECTIVES TO AVOID DELAY IN RELEASING YOUR PAYMENT BECAUSE YOUR PAYMENT FILE HAS ALREADY BEEN MOVED TO HIS OFFICE FOR PROCESSING AND VERIFICATION.

CONGRATULATIONS.

IN GOD WE TRUST.

YOURS IN SERVICE
ROBERT S. MUELLER, III.


FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION


There are so many things wrong with these scammers that it's hard to know where to begin. The lousy English, the SHOUTING, the use of God's name in an extortion scheme, the inconsistency... it frightens me to think that there are people in my country with so little education that they would fall for a sad, transparent scam like this. Yet, if there were not, so many of them would not be sent out.

I used to send back emails full of invective and well-deserved abuse, but then decided that this - despite being satisfying for the moment - was not the kind of energy I wanted to be surrounding myself with, so I replaced it with the following response:

******

Dear Scammer,

I'm very sorry that the people of your country, wherever you may be, think that theft by deception is a valid way to make a living. First it was Nigeria, and as we have seen, the reputation of that country is already in the toilet. No business person in his or her right mind would look to build there. Soon, all of Africa will be thought of by the rest of the world as nothing more than a dunghill of corruption and crime, which will serve only to further reduce investment anywhere on the continent.

Nothing justifies what you are doing. Life may be hard, there may be no work to be found, perhaps your country was even raped by colonialists, but stealing money from those who have worked hard for it will never be right, even if you are stealing from other greedy fools who are looking for quick money, or something for nothing. You cannot justify it. Even an onioburu1 has more honor than you, for he works hard for an honest living. Stop it. Just stop it. Don't do this. Find an honorable way to earn money, and in the end you'll be much happier.

Most people who get these "advance-fee fraud" or 419 emails simply laugh at you for being such a fool, and delete them. For what it's worth, most of the civilized world is laughing at you already. I take the time to send you this in the hopes that you might turn away from this path of ignorance that you have chosen, and find a way to make a positive difference instead of pouring out destructive, negative energy into the world. Whatever energy we put out into the world always comes back to us. Continue in the ways of deception and you will only reap misery.

I desire a world that works for everyone, with no one left out. That includes you, whoever you may be. You will be in my prayers.

All best,

Erastus X. McGillicuddy

*******

I have no illusions about this response. Criminals are not known for responding well to appeals to their better nature - most of them don't have one. Still, I let them know that their fraud is cheap and transparent, and do so without being overtly obnoxious.


1 An onioburu is Nigerian slang for a gong-farmer, or nightsoil handler.

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Comments

torakiyoshi
Jul. 24th, 2011 05:18 am (UTC)
I wonder what the real FBI would think about this letter?
stevenroy
Jul. 24th, 2011 05:57 am (UTC)
Maybe someone should ask them.
ccdesan
Jul. 24th, 2011 02:08 pm (UTC)
It was forwarded to the Salt Lake field office, just in case.
mermaidstitcher
Jul. 24th, 2011 04:09 pm (UTC)
I noticed that the 1st pararaph was one very long sentence.the sencond Paragraph ended with a comma.
ccdesan
Jul. 24th, 2011 05:34 pm (UTC)
Oh, my. If I were going to redline this, I'd need several ink refills.
deckardcanine
Jul. 29th, 2011 01:48 pm (UTC)
I especially like "$3,000.000.00 MILLION U.S. DOLLARS."

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