?

Log in

No account? Create an account

Look Back | Look Forward

Rune Sore-bees: A Dialog by Shelly Berman

Cross-posted to WordPress on 12-30-2014

Despite the fact that it has been widely copied and published on the net as an actual conversation from a hotel in Asia, and purportedly published in the Far East Economic Review, the dialogue below never actually took place in any hotel anywhere in the world. It is an intentionally composed humorous fiction and is entirely the creation of Shelley Berman, written as a chapter in his book, published as A HOTEL IS A PLACE, A HOTEL IS A FUNNY PLACE, and A HOTEL IS A VERY FUNNY PLACE, by Price/Stern/Sloan Publishers, Inc. Copyright © 1972, 1985. Any claim to the contrary is utterly baseless and erroneous. I post it here not only because it's very funny, but because the true attribution (and the correct version) deserves more widespread exposure.


(Reading hints: You are on the phone. The other party is also in the hotel.)

Morny, rune sore-bees.

Oh sorry, I thought I dialed room service.

Rye. Rune sore-bees. Morny. Jewish to odor sunteen?

Yes, order something. This is room thirteen-oh-five. I want...

Okay, torino-fie. Yes plea?

I'd like some bacon and eggs.

Ow July then?

What?

Aches. Ow July then? Pry, boy, pooch...?

Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry. Scrambled, please.

Ow July thee baycome? Crease?

Crisp will be fine.

Okay. An Santos?

What?

Santos. July Santos?

Uh...I don't know...I don't think so.

No? Judo one toes?

Look. I really feel bad about this, but I just don't know what judo-one-toes means. I'm sorry...

Toes! Toes! Why Jew Don Juan toes? Ow bow eenlish mopping we bother?

English muffin! I've got it! You were saying toast! Fine. An English muffin will be fine.

We bother?

No. Just put the bother on the side.

Wad?

I'm sorry. I meant butter. Butter on the side.

Copy?

I feel terrible about this but...

Copy. Copy, tea, mill...

Coffee!! Yes, coffee please. And that's all.

One Minnie. Ass rune torino-fie, strangle-aches, crease baycome, tossy eenlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy. Rye?

Whatever you say.

Okay. Tenjewberrymud.

You're welcome.


Support Wind Power

respective-eponymous

Comments

r_caton
Mar. 26th, 2011 11:17 am (UTC)
Shelley Berman.....
ahhhh happier days.
r_caton
Mar. 26th, 2011 11:20 am (UTC)
bye the bye, Keith Waterhouse once mentioned a motorcyclist who stopped him with "Norwich is a bess wire acne"?

~ (Do You) Know which is the best way to Hackney?

As big hearted Arthur used to say, AYE THANG YEW!

Profile

Fortunata
ccdesan
The Old Wolf
Website

Latest Month

December 2017
S M T W T F S
     12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31      

Tags

Powered by LiveJournal.com