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I'm a Nigerian Spammer. Not.

This morning I woke up with about 3,000 emails in my inbox, all of them saying that my message could not be delivered.

This is what I supposedly sent out to five jillionteen people:



Return-Path: <My Email Address>
Received: from User ([82.128.87.180])
(authenticated bits=0)
by mail.jackpc.com (8.13.8/8.13.8) with ESMTP id o8D5JrkQ015754;
Mon, 13 Sep 2010 00:20:23 -0500
Message-Id: <201009130520.o8D5JrkQ015754@mail.jackpc.com>
Reply-To: <talk2barry@w.cn>

From: "MK"<My Email Address>
Subject: HI!
Date: Mon, 13 Sep 2010 07:21:19 -0600
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="Windows-1251"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2600.0000
X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2600.0000
X-Greylist: Sender succeeded SMTP AUTH authentication, not delayed by milter-greylist-3.0 (mail.jackpc.com [99.135.117.62]); Mon, 13 Sep 2010 00:20:55 -0500 (CDT)


Good day,
I have deposited your ATM card and associate document with the security company in West Africa, I traveled out of the country for official assignment and may not be back until December, What you have to do now is to contact the Security Company as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because of the expiring date.
For your information, I have paid for the Shipping fee, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the ATM showing that it is not Drug Money or meant to sponsor Terrorist attack in your Country. The only money you will send to the Security Company to deliver your ATM card direct to your postal Address in your country is US$180 Dollars only being Security Keeping Fee of Security Company so far.
Again, don't be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except US$180 as any other fee asked from you is not acceptable. I would have paid that but they said no because they dont know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage. You have to contact the ALERT SECURITY COMPANY now for the delivery of your ATM card with this information bellow:
GUARANTEE SECURITY COMPANY
Mr. Barry Gibson
Email: talk2barry@w.cn

Also, make sure that you reconfirm your Postal address(s) and Direct telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them to give you the tracking number as soon as you have paid the $180 to enable you track your package over there and know when it will get to your address.
Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security safe Keeping fee of US$180 Dollars for their immediate action.
You should also let me know through email as soon as you receive your ATM card.
Yours Faithfully,
MRS. MARY KOWALSKI
HEAD OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE




If anyone out there is trying to track down the actual senders of this email, please be aware that I did not send this abomination, and never would. The headers were forged, as is common with these drones and scumbags, may they forever wallow in eternal misery and disease!


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Comments

deckardcanine
Sep. 13th, 2010 07:03 pm (UTC)
How can they be so technically savvy and yet so oafish?
r_caton
Sep. 13th, 2010 07:34 pm (UTC)
Dey Nigerian.

They might be doing a cunning deception and actually originate from Russia or Brazil... and be pretending to be Nigerian.

Hey, I'm a racist!!

Actually I've only ever known one person who said they'd never trust a Nigerian as their culture awards kudos according to how much they can swindle from mug punters.... a workmate who was Nigerian of course.
A friend who used to travel in Africa told me that they once got the old "I got 2 and a half million you can share" spiel face to face in a market....
r_caton
Sep. 13th, 2010 07:35 pm (UTC)
Bot me no bots....
sleepyjohn00
Sep. 13th, 2010 07:57 pm (UTC)
There's a lovely side bit in one of the Bob Howard novels, where Bob responds to a Nigerian scammer. About two days later, someone from Business Controls visits Bob's wretched government cubicle, waxes sarcastic for ten minutes, and makes him give back the Bank of Nigeria.
carlfoxmarten
Sep. 14th, 2010 06:06 am (UTC)
I've been getting stuff like this recently also, though not on the email account under this name, fortunately.

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