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Writer's Block: Go it alone

Do you think society puts too much pressure on people to be in relationships and/or have children? Do you think this ostracizes people who would be perfectly content to remain single and/or child-free? Is this pressure worse around the holidays?


In general, I would say yes, qualifying that by adding , "in some sections of society more than others, it depends on whom you ask."

In my community of faith, being single after 24 is considered being a menace to society. Those who are divorced wear a scarlet "D" branded on their foreheads - or at least you'd think they do. A more efficient way of getting sent to Coventry I have not seen.

Valentine's day can bite the wax tadpole if you're single and not in a relationship. Or it can be a day to find joy in the happiness of your friends. Overall, I would say that it's not good for man (or woman) to be alone, but we're not obliged to go victim to whatever circumstances we find ourselves in - and as friends of mine have remarked, some prefer a state of blessed unattachment.

Much of the pressure comes from the marketing departments of candy concerns, greeting card manufacturers, and diamond cartels - not to mention mothers - which pressure is not insignificant. However, ultimately it's not society's place to say anything at all about a person's relationship choices.


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Comments

deckardcanine
Dec. 10th, 2009 05:29 pm (UTC)
I'm sure that much of the pressure is unintentional. Singles hang out more with other singles and spouses hang out more with other spouses because of how they relate.

As you may know, I've had practically no drive to look for love. Nevertheless, I rarely care about the oblique social pressure, and Valentine's Day (like any candy-filled holiday) is fine by me. The sight of a good romance warms my heart without making me envious.

Lately, tho, I've wondered whether I really would be happier with a wife and possibly kids... if only to enrich my dull life.
bayliss
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:14 pm (UTC)
I am perfectly Happy with out the martial attachment. I am perfectly happy being child-free (allows me time to spoil friends of mine's children and give them back.) I look at it this way.. If I can enrich teenagers lives who have a lack of parental care. (IE some teenagers I encounter here or IRL) I am doing my part in raising a child. Some of the adults I know need help in being raised.

The Marital attachment... I am far too picky in my choice of men, from what one man has told me. Thus rather than settle for less than what I want I have chosen instead to face life alone. I have been burned and I don't like that.

I do not like men who are superfical and refuse to be upfront with me in what they expect.

r_caton
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:48 pm (UTC)
I could do without a martial attachment....
But the only lady that I'd be interested in with a view to a maritial attachment is to all appearances a perfectly adjusted solo performer.... she enjoys our friendship... and I wouldn't want to lose her by applying pressure. And I can't honestly see where I could enhance her life in any other way than I do....
I am blind to body language. TOTALLY blind. Any potential partner needs not to be merely upfront but BLATANTLY and UNEQUIVOCALLY OBVIOUS. Else I simply won't know...
ccdesan
Dec. 10th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
Brother!

deckardcanine
Dec. 10th, 2009 09:28 pm (UTC)
Marital, rather. :)
ccdesan
Dec. 10th, 2009 10:32 pm (UTC)
Whoops! Forget that last comment... I didn't even see the typo

r_caton
Dec. 10th, 2009 06:50 pm (UTC)
I can see myself dying alone, unmourned, being found more shrivelled than shriven... the soft tissues go first, no?
My life tends that way, now....
ccdesan
Dec. 10th, 2009 09:37 pm (UTC)
Alone? Perhaps. 'Tis the fate of many.

Unmourned? Pish tush pah, George Bailey. You really need to re-watch "It's a Wonderful Life". 'Tis the season, anyway... you should be able to catch one of 111 screenings.

And anyway, what boots it? The transition takes but a twinkling, and then there is One who will welcome you with a "Well done, thou good and faithful Jackass," and any perceived solitude will be the substance of a dream.


torakiyoshi
Dec. 11th, 2009 01:28 am (UTC)
"Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry." - I Cor 7.1

-=TK
ccdesan
Dec. 11th, 2009 02:44 am (UTC)
You know, Paul is ruddy oblique. I almost feel I have more success with the Apocalypse than with the Pauline letters.

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