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The Customer is Not Always Right

This particular website always gives me both a laugh, and the shudders - dealing with the public is a horrendous challenge. Today I decided to submit one of my own; I reproduce it here, because not all submissions get published. But it's worthy... it's worthy.

I own a small company that sells a nutritional product online. Our 100% satisfaction guarantee states that customers can send a product back for any reason if they're not satisfied.

Customer: I want a refund for this product that I bought.

Me: I'm sorry you had a problem - what seems to be the trouble?

Customer: It's not working.

Me: I'm very sorry to hear that. Just return the bottle and I'll be happy to refund your money.

Customer: I can't. It's gone. And I want a refund on all five bottles that I've bought over the last year.

Me: Um. That would be like going into [Major Grocery Chain] and telling the manager you want a refund on a year's worth of groceries because you're not happy with your health.

Customer: How dare you compare your dinky little outfit with [Major Grocery Chain]! Your guarantee says 100% satisfaction, and I'm not satisfied!

Me: Ma'am, normally we'll refund the price of the initial order - and you've been using this product repeatedly for a year. But I tell you what. Just to keep you happy, I'll refund you half the price of the product you bought. That's the best I can do.

Customer: You should be ashamed! You are a thief and a criminal, and I'm telling everyone I know not to ever buy from you! How can you sleep at night? *Click*



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Comments

secoh
Sep. 4th, 2009 10:17 am (UTC)
hahahah that's classic! I'm so glad I don't have to deal with the general public any more. Some people have a twisted sense of ethics and morality.

deckardcanine
Sep. 4th, 2009 01:36 pm (UTC)
Having read all the entries, I've seen a number of similar stories. Yours doesn't pack much of a punch at the end, but "a thief and a criminal" is deliciously redundant.

When I watched Fast Times at Ridgemont High years ago, I'd had retail experience but never dealt with anyone as ornery as the guy demanding a refund for a mostly finished meal but unwilling to jump through the hoops for it. Now I see that this kind of thing happens pretty often. But it's not nearly the worst the site offers.
r_caton
Sep. 6th, 2009 11:08 am (UTC)
Thief and a criminal?
Oughta go into politics; get yourself a scruplectomy and stand for election!

How can you sleep at night?
OBLITEROL madam, I can do you an introductory offer of two bottles for the price of one!.... oh, BTW...
BOGOF
ccdesan
Sep. 6th, 2009 08:02 pm (UTC)
Erumph! I'd ne'er survive in that jungle, thank'ee. What's more, I could never vote for a political party that would have me as its candidate...
alaskawolf
Sep. 4th, 2009 02:43 pm (UTC)
lol great site i enjoyed reading though some of the stories :D
bayliss
Sep. 4th, 2009 05:07 pm (UTC)
*feels bad for you.*



I had someone come in a month after i gave them a perm claiming that it was more of a body perm then a regular perm and wanted one for free.

after forty-five minuites of listening to her compalain that th JC Pennies girl told her it was a body perm and that 'they know better than you becuase they go through JC Pennies salon training too." I finally gave her a new perm for free...

I wanted to tell her that the the training Pennies gives is on sales not on services. ;-D

ccdesan
Sep. 5th, 2009 12:09 am (UTC)
After going to that website I realize that I'm not alone... so many people think that someone behind a counter is a legitimate target for abuse... when they could be their next-door neighbor.

leadsporkofdoom
Sep. 4th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
I have lost almost an hour to that site. Home is that much closer. Thank You.
tarinfirepelt
Sep. 5th, 2009 04:18 pm (UTC)
You are lucky I have too much on my plate at the moment or I would draw Old Wolf as a robber baron and then in striped Jail Pajamas. ;)
ccdesan
Sep. 5th, 2009 05:58 pm (UTC)
Dang!

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