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Hqiz and Mogg

Exodus 20:7 - Don't use the name of the Lord in vain. OK, I do my best on that one. Sometimes I slip. Especially when something jumps out at me in the dark.

Matt. 5:37 - Don't swear by anything in the heavens or the earth, but say what you mean - "yes", "no". OK, I'm pretty good on that one. My intention is to say what I mean, and do what I say.

But, like unsalted meat, or one of those never-sufficiently-to-be-accursed puffed rice cakes, language without color is flat and tasteless. So when one comes nigh unto breaking a toe, or whanging one's thumb with a hammer, or any number of other tear-jerking vicissitudes of life happens to happen, what does a weak soul, struggling to live in True Choice and act like a Compassionate Samurai, do for comfort?

In the heat of the moment, as one's thumbnail turns an angry red and black, and one's vision clouds with coruscating sparks of high-voltage energy, it's hard to talk like O. Henry or Eudora Welty. These people, among many, many others knew how to use language that fills the mouth and the soul at the same time. Thus far, I have found few things that are as satisfying as calling upon The Man Whose Middle Initial is Reputedly "H". But having been asked by Him not to do so, I've been constrained to look for other alternatives.

Enter Mogg, a fictional deity inspired by two comic strips by Bill Redfern and the late Paul S. Gibbs (Haul Trek, later morphing into Freighter Tails). The God of a race of felines with so many relatives and so many parts that one can never run out of things to swear by, and not lose a moment of sleep worrying that one might get smitten. By Mogg's tufted tail, by his diamond-tipped claws (with a tip of the hat to E.E. Smith's Klono), by the holy skull of his grandmother, and by the silken breast of his mother, finally I have things to say when words fail me and/or I wax less than poetic.

When a single word is all that's needed, "Hqiz" (pronounced /hqɪz/, with that voiceless uvular plosive in there) does very nicely, and like other Anglo-Saxon lexemes can function as multiple parts of speech. I've tried many other substitutes for an echoing, resounding scatological reference, but most of them have failed me. So this one is mine, and mine alone (Google it - mine is the only semantically significant hit) - thus it works. I can use it freely, and nobody is offended. Unless they have a filthy mind, for which I'm not responsible. In which case, by the fuzzy ears of Mogg's sister, they can shut the Hqiz up.

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Comments

alaskawolf
Jun. 30th, 2009 09:24 am (UTC)
holy Mogg :O
secoh
Jun. 30th, 2009 11:36 am (UTC)
oh electric fence, why must you weaken me so! I beg forgiveness of the universe for my temporary Tourettes Syndrome!
ccdesan
Jun. 30th, 2009 02:58 pm (UTC)
Random Thought - deckardcanine - Jun. 30th, 2009 03:16 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - r_caton - Jun. 30th, 2009 05:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - deckardcanine - Jun. 30th, 2009 06:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - ccdesan - Jun. 30th, 2009 08:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - r_caton - Jun. 30th, 2009 10:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
tarinfirepelt
Jun. 30th, 2009 02:02 pm (UTC)
I keep catching myself blowing this commandment completely away on numerous occasions. I can say that at least I immediately catch what I am doing (And usually ask forgiveness after the moment is past) which is a lot better as when I used to just #&$%^& away and not even bat an eye.

I am still helpless to stop. Which is a crock because I have the control to not swear in polite company, so I am not helpless in reality. Just one of those annoying things.

I am a lot better though then I was. That blessing I can say with certainty.
ccdesan
Jun. 30th, 2009 02:57 pm (UTC)
> I am a lot better though then I was. That blessing I can say with certainty.

You'n'me both, bro. I fell into some seriously rotten ways from a ridiculously young age, for a number of reasons - and it's been a thorn in my flesh for a long time. Keep on keeping on!

> I am not helpless in reality Good notice!
deckardcanine
Jun. 30th, 2009 03:14 pm (UTC)
Sometimes I'm actually more shocked when someone uses a substitute for God's name, at least in sci-fi. "Oh, Ford" in Brave New World indicates an unfortunate shift in conventional worship. "Oh, space" in Foundation is just retro-future silliness.

I make a point not to take the Lord's name in vain anymore, but that leaves two of the most censored terms in modern America acceptable for provoked exclamations. I use those sparingly, but at least I feel no compulsion to repent if I say them privately.

"Don't swear by anything in the heavens or the earth"? Does that mean that "What the hell" is okay?
r_caton
Jun. 30th, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC)
What the Heck? Hell not nice place want not to discover for detailed comparison.
Random Thought - ccdesan - Jun. 30th, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - r_caton - Jun. 30th, 2009 10:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
r_caton
Jun. 30th, 2009 05:42 pm (UTC)
By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem!
I tend to use By the beard of ***** ******** (one of my MDs long past, who had no beard and was actually a fairly standard MD for that corporation... about 50 - 60, square jawed, grey haired, be - wire framed spectacled, and probably with an abacus for a soul.
Suuun of a peeeeg does well.
However....
"B*st*rd" "B*gg*r" and the Anglo Saxon of my rude forefathers serves more often than it shoud. My coworker doesn't like me using fowl language. Pecker.
r_caton
Jun. 30th, 2009 05:50 pm (UTC)
Re: By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem!
As the Sainted Milligan once said, it isn't piety that makes a gunner scream "J**** C*****!" when he drops a shell on his foot.

Interesting point though... Swearing is referred to as salty speech, or salting ones speech. And yet salt is a seasoning, valued and indeed used as wages (salarum? it is where salary comes from). Of course to salt ground excessively is to render it infertile.
One can pepper ones phrases with invective to spice 'em up....

There is money to be made in a kitty hire service, if in a fraightful bate, ring up 1-800-KITTEH and you get a mog to stroke for half an hour.
By the proscribed verb of Captain Corcoran! - r_caton - Jun. 30th, 2009 05:54 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem! - ccdesan - Jun. 30th, 2009 08:12 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem! - r_caton - Jun. 30th, 2009 10:29 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem! - ccdesan - Jul. 1st, 2009 01:07 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem! - ccdesan - Jun. 30th, 2009 08:06 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem! - r_caton - Jun. 30th, 2009 10:33 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: By the brazen balls of Uncle Poppem! - ccdesan - Jul. 1st, 2009 01:16 am (UTC) - Expand
deckardcanine
Jun. 30th, 2009 06:19 pm (UTC)
In truth, I do appreciate the use of creative exclamations using real words that aren't normally interjections. Today's "Pooch Cafe" has one, but more out-of-context randomness can be just as much fun.
ccdesan
Jun. 30th, 2009 08:20 pm (UTC)
Ha, that's a good one. I have been known to use "Great Caesar's Ghost" on occasion... it's fallen out of favor since Perry White morphed out of his 50's persona, but still satisfying on occasion. Others that have been useful at times:


  • Thunder and scissors!

  • By the sacred scrolls of Babylon!



Oh, yeah - and how can I forget "Holy Flapping Scrith!"

Edited at 2009-06-30 08:24 pm (UTC)
Random Thought - deckardcanine - Jun. 30th, 2009 08:32 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - r_caton - Jun. 30th, 2009 10:35 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - deckardcanine - Jun. 30th, 2009 10:44 pm (UTC) - Expand
Random Thought - ccdesan - Jul. 1st, 2009 01:17 am (UTC) - Expand
tarinfirepelt
Jun. 30th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
I guess one of the "Good" things of my bad language practice, is I am able to have the By the Saints foul mouths, like the NCO's, and particularly Tannet, go off rather spectacularly. Of course nearly everyone Uses the "Saints Blood" which is not exactly polite dinner language.
r_caton
Jun. 30th, 2009 10:37 pm (UTC)
Any worse than "'SBlood!" or "Gadzooks!"... both popular in their day, altho "A turd i' your teeth Sirrah" has fallen into disfavour.
Random Thought - ccdesan - Jul. 1st, 2009 01:09 am (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Sep. 30th, 2009 09:14 pm (UTC)
Profanity
If sufficiently proficient in an obscure language--or just with access to the right sort of book or dictionary--many languages have scads of profanity. However, it does risk having some other speaker nearby being offended.
ccdesan
Sep. 30th, 2009 10:48 pm (UTC)
Re: Profanity
A very valid point. I've used Russian, German, French and Irish expletives on occasion, but one never knows who might be listening!

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